The strict rules of salami

My mom grew up in a small town near Niagara Falls. Throughout my childhood, we returned often to visit family.

With every trip, we made a stop at a place called Smiling Sub. They had the best salami sub known to man.

My grandparents knew with our every arrival to the tiny home where they raised 5 children that our first order of business, after a quick hug hello, was to unwrap and devour our subs.

They were simple sandwiches, really. Nothing more than a submarine bun, thin slices of mozzarella cheese, shredded iceberg lettuce, and slices of not-too-thin and not-too-thick Genoa salami. Those slices were Goldilocks just right.

The sub sauce was a simple coupling of oil and Kraft Zesty Italian dressing, all shook up together in a squirt bottle.

By the time you opened up your wax paper-wrapped taste of heaven, droplets of oil had tattooed themselves on the paper, and soaked into the meat.

It was the very definition of delicious.

And it’s been years since I’ve had one.

Smiling Sub closed up many years ago; fifteen, maybe even more.

My family and I still talk about those subs, and I still crave them on occasion.

Like today. Craved it so much, in fact, that I picked myself up off my couch, got in my car and drove to the grocery store, one with a full deli.

Packaged Genoa salami doesn’t cut it when trying to recreate a Smiling Sub; it’s sliced too thin. Shaved almost, even.

You’ve got to have it freshly sliced at a thickness of 2 or 3 on the deli chart.

With $9 worth of my favourite cured meat, a fresh bun, slices of mozzarella cheese, and a nice head of lettuce, I headed home on a mission.

I soaked the bottom bun with oil and Italian dressing just like they used to at the shop, added the cheese, piled on the meat, then topped it with shredded lettuce.

My dinner was as close to a Smiling Sub as I’ll ever get.

And it was amazing.

Why am I telling you all this, and possibly making you hungry in the process?

Because you’re not supposed eat salami, or any deli meats, when you’re pregnant.

But I did anyway.

I’m currently reading a book, Expecting Better, by Emily Oster (thanks, J!), and she dissects all of the current rules, musts and shoulds around pregnancy these days.

An award-winning economist driven by data and facts, when Oster became pregnant herself, she delved into all the research and data she could find relating to everything pregnant women are told to do and not to do.

According to her extensive research, you’re no more likely to find Listeria in salami than you are in cantaloupes, celery, or sprouts. A lot of Listeria outbreaks are random, and there is really no way to know you should avoid cantaloupes… until you do.

Based on the data, her best estimate was that “avoiding ham sandwiches would have lowered the risk of Listeria infection from 1 in 8,333 to 1 in 8,255.”

Certainly anyone could make a case for avoiding deli meats based on that; however, the change is incredibly small, and for me, not really worth it.

My craving for a homemade Smiling Sub was.

And, luckily for me, it consisted of salami and not turkey – the most “dangerous” culprit of all deli meats.

My little 22-week old spaghetti squash-sized babe was doing some serious fluttering afterwards, so I’m pretty sure it enjoyed it as much as I did.

So, to meat or not to meat; it’s no longer a question.